George on American Idol…?

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/marc_malkin/b138263_george_michael_bringing_freedom_idol.html

At least he should be happy about being called “the biggest star in the world”…

How was George convinced?

Management: George, I have great news for you!
George: Yeah, what’s that?
Management: You’re going on… (insert dramatic pause)… American Idol
George: That’s great! No.
Management: What do you mean, no?
George: I mean… no.
Management: Why’s that?
George: Because the shows are mocking actual artists and giving them free PR for their 15 minute careers.
Management: Well, tomorrow you’ll be getting your free PR for 15 minutes too.
George: No.
Management: You want this tour to be successful, right?
George: Yes…
Management: You want to be the biggest star in the world again, right?
George: I am the biggest star in the world.
Management: Not in America, you’re not.
George: Stop rubbing it in.
Management: 50 million people vote on America Idol. That’s more people that’s voted for the President of the United States. Especially the current President…
George: 50 million people will watch me?
Management: Not quite, little girls usually vote ten times each for the cutest guy. But the good thing is, you’ll be there with two really… young and dark and – I guess – handsome guys. Artists. Singers. Men!
George: Hmmm… 50 million… I might have to get laryngitis for the occasion…
Management: You’ll get to meet Simon Cowell.
George: Are you suggesting I wouldn’t be able to meet him if I didn’t go on? Are you suggesting Simon Cowell is a bigger star than I am? Are you?
Management: You’ll get to meet Paula Abdul.
George: Listen, dude, I met that woman 20 years ago. Before she got the slur. I can’t get past the slur.
Management: Please don’t go on record saying that…
George: I’ll try.
Management: Now, about the song you’ll perform…
George: I’m not singing “Careless Whisper”.
Management: What song do people in the US remember by you?
George: Gee, I dunno, the entire FAITH album? At least? I have about half a million hard-core fans in the US!
Management: I think we can agree that your half a million fans have been slacking lately, cause your album reached…
George: Do not quote numbers at me!
Management: Would your fans watch American Idol?
George: No, they’d hate me for lowering my standards and going on that stupid show because I continually talk shit about the so-called artists on that fucking show – but hey, let’s all sell our souls and work for Satan because it’s more convenient that way!
Management: Great, show up tomorrow at 5.
George (under breath): Americans really don’t get sarcasm…
Management: And shave!
George: Goodbye!