Where is George next?

Well, now he’s apparently teaching homeless people how to write songs about their situations. Oh, I’d have loved to see that.

George: So, what’s your situation?
Person: Well, I’m kinda homeless and my wife left and took the kids and the dog and I lost my job…
George: OK, cool. Now, imagine yourself feeling really down and miserable.
Person: I can do that.
George: How does that make you feel?
Person: Miserable?
George: Other words!
Person: Uhm, I don’t know lost and on the verge of tears?
George: Good! Now take that and write, “I feel lost and on the verge of tears.” What rhymes with tears?
Person: Fears?
George: Perfect! But you don’t want that in the next line, you want it to look more sophisticated than that. So let’s bring in the wife and kids and job thing. For instance, “I lost everything close; wife, job and kids.”
Person: OK, and then, “Since then I’ve been struggling with my fears”?
George: Who’s the songwriter here? You or me? Leave this to the expert!

George helps write CVs

THE SUN can inform us that the G-Man has been teaching youngsters to use a computer (fair enough if you wanna know how to log onto www.gay.co.uk to pick up guys – and how to create a HOTmail.com account…) and, get this, HOW TO WRITE A CV! “What, just showing up an hour late for appointments doesn’t speak for itself for you? Tough…”

Now, excuse me for a moment, but when in the name of hell did George Michael have to write a f-ing CV?

Well, except for this.

From one weed to another

Guess the G-man is up to his knees in weed – more literally than when he’s at home watching EastEnders. Seems he was out doing his 3 hours for the community, by fidding with another type of weed at a hostel. Practically arriving in a bloody limo. lol. If you gotta do it, do it in style. The curly-haired chick ‘doing it with George’ looked like that-barmaid-in-EastEnders-that-kinda-
killed-her-husband-and-got-away-with-it. Tracy!

- Hi, Tracy, I’m George.
- My name isn’t Tracy.
- Today it is. So, tell me about Albert Square…

Oh well. Only 97 hours to go.