Irony

Mozart’s last piece was Requiem. How’s that for irony?

Warts’n'All

OK, so I’m all for autobiographies if it’s done with humour and some self-irony. But whatever happened to writing it himself…? Too busy rolling joints and wanking (hopefully not simultaneously) to type? Too tired from the fuck-chats every evening? Come on, this is the guy that said, “If you want something done well…” For whatever reason I’m imagining something like the Robert Lindsay/Tony Blair (“The Trial of Tony Blair” – look it up on YouTube et.al) piece with Tony having his autobiography written. “Iraq won’t be what I’ll be remembered for, is it?” Tony cried. George, in the same fashion, could go, “It’s not the arrest(s) I’ll be remembered for, is it?”

He really *should* name it “Warts&All” – but for fuck’s sake, dude, don’t even consider doing it if this Jewish guy isn’t gonna write it with a sense of humour. So you gotta *tell* it with a sense of humour. You can do it! At least been able to do it in the past without making half of England switch over to watch something else more entertaining. Like Sharon Osbourne’s show… now we’ll get the opportunity to switch over to Geri Halliwell’s traincrash (what else can it be?!) of a show. Prediction: Kenny will be on there. George will say yes, but will pull out.

Happy X-mas, everyone…

George Michael is set to write a revealing book about his arrests and drug use. The ‘Fast Love’ singer is planning to tell-all about his UK and US arrests in the tome due to be released in October. A source said: “It’s expected to sell really well. George has millions of fans.”

The biography will include a “warts and all” chapter on his arrest for engaging in a lewd act in a Beverly Hills public toilet in 1998. Michael, who was arrested by an undercover police officer, was fined $810 and sentenced to 80 hours of community service for the offence. The 43-year-old singer is also set to write about being found “slumped and drooling” at the wheel of his car at a set of London traffic lights last October. Michael – who had taken anti-depressants and sleeping pills – escaped jail, but was sentenced to 100 hours community service and banned from driving for one year.

The book, which will be ghostwritten by music journalist Rob Jovanovich, is also expected to talk about his “sexual freedom” and drug taking.

21 Again. Brilliant!

Happy Birthday, George.

Another Star

My George Videos Part II

Video 1 – Before Dark:

Video 2 – After Dark:

George in Norwich

Well, it was certainly good to come to the realisation that Sophie Ellis-Bextor does nothing for me whatsoever. Also, standing for x hours isn’t fantastic good fun either. What I’d like to ask someone, George for instance, is this: Remind me again why the f— you would make someone ‘warm up’ the crowd for 40 minutes, then leave them cold for another HOUR before getting on the stage? Even the most faithful nutters were getting pissed off about listening to random crap songs from someone’s iPod that was probably just on random backstage.

Just having a minor rant about this now, in addition to thanking National Rail for making their last train run from Norwich at 22:10, cause I missed half the show. Yeah, so because George insisted on not getting his neat butt on the stage at 8 (which would have left 20 minutes to get everything ready between Sophie and himself) – but at quarter to NINE – I had to leave in the break to catch the ‘late train’. It was either that or get on the 11:10 to the middle of nowhere, wait there until 5:30am(!) and then take the last hour home on the train. I don’t love anyone that much, sorry.

I’d also like to send kudos to the cheeky cunts that came eeling their way through the crowd five minutes before George came on the stage. It was probably a dozen of’em, holding hands, traipsing through the crowd that had been standing there for hours to get a good view. The crowd wasn’t having it and people started objecting rather loudly. So half of’em retracted and went back to the back of the bus where they belonged.

THEN George came on the stage. Well, first he wasn’t on the stage, singing “Song to…” and came on singing “Fast Love” and the rest as usual up till after “Everything She Wants” where he – behold – did ‘a new song’. “Another Star” by Stevie Wonder. I do indeed have it recorded, so will make some kinda video thingy and add the audio to it so y’all can hear it. He said he was going to do another song (aka: “As”) by ‘this artist’ (aka: Stevie Wonder) but didn’t make any sense when the lady he did it with wasn’t there (aka Mary J Blige).

For the ballads he seemed, for whatever reason, a mix between distant and highly emotional, forgetting half the lyrics on some songs (I’ll do what he does and not mention any ‘names’) and getting pissed off with his earpiece that kept falling out. Probably making it hard for him to focus. Especially on “Father Figure” he didn’t seem to be in Norwich mentally at all. But it has to be said, the crowd was great, he grinned more than I saw at Wembley for two days, and when he was running around and being his usual self, he was adorable. Being relatively close to the stage I got a good look AT him and by George, does he look fucking insanely fit and hot right now…!

So there. Good vocals, great atmosphere, amazing looks and a pissed off me for missing the 2nd half – but happy as well for not missing “Another Star.”

So I guess that’s the end of George touring – for now.

George at Wembley

So, Saturday we were in our room at the hotel (which was the size of a flea-box)(the bathroom was even smaller, you had to go outside to change your mind) and I was thinking, “Should I bring the camcorder and attempt to smuggle it in?” My companion – who’s asked to remain anonymous – said, “I have a belt, you have a skirt, strap it on to your leg.” We tested the theory, and sure enough, it didn’t look suspicious. If they felt me up I could either threaten with lawsuit or say I was a member of Opus Dei and had a cilice around my thigh to feel the pain of Jesus. Or just pretend I was a stupid foreigner with no knowledge of English.

Arrive Wembley, we chickened out when there was a HUGE poster saying they’d confiscate “any of the following items” and basically put on our most adoring smiles, a bit of an additional foreign accent and said we’d been filming round London but was there anywhere we could put it whilst inside? The security guard, totally taken by us two foreigners, said “As long as you’re not SEEN with it, go ahead.”

He started, eventually, with “Song to the siren” that I KNEW I’d heard before but it took a while to realise just where the hell I’d heard it. It was the perfect opening, that’s all I can say. Very classy. We were relatively close to the stage, on row ten from the bottom. I could go on and on about how great/fantastic/hot/talented/funny etc he was, but suspecting most people here have either been there/seen that or seen that on YouTube. What they cut out of the broadcast was that he said “Obviously that indicates I don’t know the groom’s name” after “My friend Hailey is getting married today!” So… really close friends, then?

Obviously, the “Kiss My Hairy Greek Arse” was also cut out, and some media rant.

Sunday we were so high up I nearly got air sick, but the view was spectacular and the Greek was in a great mood – despite having forgotten his and Kenny’s meeting-anniversary the day before. To which he added, “We fucked on the 2nd date, so that should count.” Or something to that respect. He also ‘blamed’ the better atmosphere on the “6000 nurses” there – only it looked, to me, like the 5000 empty seats may have been reserved for them… Nurses work nightshifts, George.

You can watch my videos below (still waiting for part 1 & 2 to come up on YouTube), and I’ll hear through my voice recorder for other things to report once I settle in my holiday home – which I’m going to on Thursday.

Oh, and I’m off to Norwich on my own today to catch show 3 out of 3. Then I’m done. For now.

My George Videos

Right. Part 3 and 4 are up – waiting for them to get their fingers out with part 1 and 2. Part 1 probably being the best, as it was still sunlight then. And the lighting dude was REALLY on his case, so during the dark he looked ghostly pale. Oh well, enough talk. Here they are

Looks best if you minimise the window.

Part 3:

Part 4:

Kiss My Big Hairy Greek…

… I think you can imagine.

Will write more when I get back home on Monday, but it was quite something. Actually got some quite outstanding video footage (high quality, too!) – watch out YouTube!

He started off with “Song to the siren” by This Mortal Coil. I only thought it was weirdos like me that had heard this song, but obviously it takes one to know one. Weirdo, that is

Vocally: Outstanding
Looks: Outstanding
Crowd: Outstanding
Me: Exhausted

Watch this space!

Let’s go outside, indeed!

George in Dublin.